How to Spice Up a Relationship: Get Your Hubby to Do Chores!

My husband complains that we don't have sex often enough, but I'm rarely in the mood. It's probably because I'm always so tired from trying to keep up with the housework he doesn't help with! How can we spice up our relationship and find balance?

Marriage researcher John Gottman has found that men who do more housework have wives who are much more interested in sex. Whenever I cite that study, men are always very surprised by the connection between housework and sex … and women aren't surprised at all.

When men do housework, their wives feel more cared about and there's a greater sense of partnership. For women, sexual energy is very closely tied to the sense of partnership they feel with their husbands or boyfriends and how tired they are and resentful they are. A woman who feels her husband is helping out and doing his fair share is going to be much more interested in him sexually. So if a man is looking to spice up a relationship and have more sex, he should bust out the mop!

Sometimes it's useful for women to point that out. Tell your husband, "Having you do housework is a turn on for me." See if it doesn't help you both get more of what you want.

Answered by Dr. Joshua Coleman